At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
