So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
