Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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