she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
