I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
