my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
