I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
