shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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