Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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