I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
