i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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