Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
