Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
