yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
