and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
