Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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