Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
