I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
