there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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