Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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