i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
