they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
