So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
