I've blown a few things in my day
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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