i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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