For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
