you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
