Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
zippers are such a cool invention
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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