dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
