I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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