i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
