You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
