wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
the raccoons are back...
Randomize