these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
