Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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