So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
