Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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