I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
