white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
