I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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