is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
