the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
