Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
