We're like a lot better than the average bears
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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