he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
