id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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