Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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