If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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