The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
