I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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