Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
My vagina just clenched in fear
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